


I Am NPC

by storyplease



Category: Original Work
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-20 14:25:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8252396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storyplease/pseuds/storyplease
Summary: For a little bit of coin and the power of hearsay, you can find yourself in a secret place where all of the quests, the ones no one have heard of, can be purchased...for a price. But does anyone think to look at the hooded face of the one who sells these unique wares? Not a chance.  No one cares about the NPC, after all.





	

I feel blessed to live in a pretty nondescript town.  There’s a weapons shop, armor shop, tavern, side-quest alley and mini-game market down by the river.  We’re not too close to the bandits in the East or the royal capital in the North.  All in all, the winters are pretty mild, the summers aren’t too hot and the day/night cycle is a good ten minutes, which takes some adjusting, but at least we’re not stuck in permanent day or permanent night unless a Main Character comes along and decides to change it.  I hate the god-awful warp/save spot set in the square in the middle of town.  It looks fucking terrible, to be honest, all bright green and pulsing out of the sky day and night.  I can’t even begin to imagine how much energy it takes to maintain it.  Still, it’s good for tourism and cuts down on the amount of horses in town, which keeps the streets noticeably clear of giant piles of horse turds, so at least there’s that.

 

Some of them seem pretty nice.  I’ve met a few Mike A.’s who were decent folks and while I have met a number of dickbag111’s and sexywifequeen452’s who rubbed me the wrong way, I’ve generally done a good bit of trade here and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

I like wearing a long, forest green cloak with a hood.  It suits me. I don’t like it when people see my eyes.  That’s how they always figure out that I’m not actually like the others, with their scripted conversation trees and penchant for constantly referring to Main Characters by their names over and over again in a way that any normal person would obviously not do.  NPC’s don’t have violet eyes, you know.  It’s just not...done.  

 

Still, I find myself doing a good turn of business, and as long as their gold’s good (there’s really no such thing as fake gold here, which is nice), I don’t mind. I do business out of an abandoned store that was forgotten and has to be entered through an invisible gap in the wall.  It’s janky, but it’s mine, and the difficulty finding it means that I don’t get any Level 1 morons endlessly browsing through my wares with a chip on their shoulders and nothing in their pockets but hot air.

 

Apparently, there used to only be one Original Main Character in this world.  But when he (or she, but most people always assume it’s a dude- typical) disappeared mysteriously halfway through the Chosen One’s Quest to Rid the World of Darkness, suddenly it became possible for anyone and their little sister to join the world and attempt to continue where the Original Main Character let off.  Now, I don’t know about you, but the way these things tend to go, it’s almost like the Quest is an excuse for the Gods of this world to basically make things as dark and depressing as possible.  Most people are stuck halfway through the original objective before they start becoming distracted by mini-games and side-quests.  If I had a piece of gold for every time I’ve seen a would-be Main Character stumble out of the mini-casino mini-game to the save point after ten hours of rolling the slots, I’d be rich.

 

Well, ok, I’m already rich, but you know what I mean.

 

When they come to my shop, they’re looking for something a little...different.  I’m happy to give them what they want...for a price.  Sure, I don’t have to pay rent, but a player’s got to eat, you know? 

 

Most Main Characters eventually get disillusioned with the Quest.  I can’t blame ‘em.  Finding out that every step is getting you closer and closer to The End is eminently depressing, if you ask me.  Sometimes I wish I could be like Colonel Bobbert in the pub with his three dialogue responses, thinking only of his ale, pretty women, and joking about what’s in your pocket, but I’m not.

 

So I offer them side quests.  Ones that you can’t find anywhere else.  They keep changing, too.  It makes them feel special, like they’re the  _ real _ Chosen One.

 

They don’t know what’s in the cellar, and I’m not about to tell them.

 

They can have it, you know?  The glory, the fame.  I just want some money to drink and gamble until I can’t see that stupid beacon turning the sky a sickly green, even in the middle of the fucking day.

 

Sometimes I’ll travel.  I don’t need to use the warp point.  Those came... _ after _ things changed.  But I can’t stay too long in any one place, because that gets me recognized by some of the less dimwitted NPCs and I can’t stand them and their lectures and accusations of laziness.  So I move on, and I hide in my secret shop and I hoard and spend my gold.  I’m no hero, but then again, who says I have to be?

 

I never asked to be what I am.  But I can sure as hell choose what I want to be.


End file.
